So it looks like virtual dates are going to be a thing for a while. Even if your area is open and you can go on a fun outdoor dining date, it’s probably worth raising the bar for a first date when the “worst that could happen” is literally COVID. Here’s a quick and easy screener of seven simple questions you can ask a match on a virtual date to better assess if you’re compatible and they’re worth the calculated risk of meeting in person. Plus, taking the time to build a foundation and really getting to know someone is worth it — just ask any one of our many success stories that started out LDR!
1. Dealbreakers? Let’s just get them out of the way.
You have to get the basics squared away. There’s a lot of easy stuff that would automatically cancel out a second date. Pets or no pets? Kids or no kids? City life or country life? New adventures every year, or couch potato life forever? Some of these things might not feel like a big deal now, but as you grow old together you’ll lean on each other more for companionship, and you’ll want someone who makes your daily life just that much easier and fun.
2. What’s something you enjoy doing that makes your day pass by quickly?
This is actually a potential interview question at Facebook, but we also think it’s a great one to test the waters of a new relationship. It’s really just a more fancy, introspective way of asking them what they love doing, and what makes them happy! Sometimes we’re programmed to answer with our standard list of hobbies, but if they stop to think about what really makes time fly for them, they may even surprise themselves!
3. Do you have a bad habit you’re trying to change about yourself?
This is a good way to test self awareness. We all have qualities we don’t love about ourselves, but it’s all about whether or not they understand the impact these qualities can have on others, and if they care enough to work on themselves where possible. We’re looking for growth, not self-deprecation!
4. What’s your relationship like with your family?
Someone’s relationship with their family can set the tone and the precedent for many things in a relationship, from religious holidays and family vacations to how you raise your future children. Maybe you want them to be close to their family so that they value family time and care about spending time with yours. Or honestly, maybe you don’t want to deal with any of that and would rather be with someone who chooses to live their life a little more independently from their family.
5. Guilty Pleasure?
Guilty pleasures give you a look into who someone is when no one else is watching. That’s the person you’re going to be spending your time with once you’re through the honeymoon phase of the relationship, so it’s worth getting a sneak peek of who that really is! Plus, there’s just something so magical about watching the same trashy TV shows together.
6. If your friend was moving out, would you proactively offer to help them, help them if they asked, or make up an excuse to get out of it?
This one’s a tricky one, because more likely than not, a lot of people will just lie in their answer. The goal is to get a sense of whether they’re the type of person that’s genuinely nice, nice when they need to be, or just a tad bit lazy and selfish. There’s no wrong answer and it’s just about compatibility – you might want someone who makes up an excuse to get out of it because you don’t want to be stuck constantly doing things for their friends and family!