We know it’s not always easy putting yourself out there. Nothing’s worse than when you give yourself a pep talk and finally send off that first message to a new match you’re really excited about, only to have them never reply. I don’t know about you, but I’m usually like Ali in Dhoom and have already started planning out our whole conversation and future by the time I send that first message, and then it all goes POOF.
There’s always the chance it’s them and not you (they already found someone but didn’t delete their profile, or decided to do a mini dating detox), but if you’ve noticed that this has happened a few times to you, it might actually be you. The truth hurts, but here are a few landmines to avoid to increase your chances of hearing back from matches!
1. You just said “hi” or “hey”
You may not be the first conversation that person is having today with a match. These conversations can be exhausting, so if you’re just giving them a “hi” and giving them nothing to react to, they may just not have the energy to carry that conversation forward.
2. “Your” and “You’re” matters more than you think it does
Grammar matters to more people than you’d think. Messaging back and forth on a dating app is casual and occasional typos aren’t the end of the world, but good grammar shows that you’re paying attention and are putting time and effort into your communication with someone else. Get your apostrophes on lock!
3. Your bio is full of cliches
If we see another bio that says “love traveling” or “foodie” we might just scream. We love that about you, but unfortunately it won’t make you stand out (apparently we’re all adventurous and love food). Avoid the cliches and create a bio that stands out!
4. You’re putting it on a little thick
We love a bold move, but it’s important to watch the line between bold and inappropriate. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying to someone’s face just because you have the safety of a phone between you.
5. You’re trying to be someone you’re not
People will also always know if you’re not being genuine, so don’t overdo it just to impress someone. Plus, you don’t want someone you have to trick into replying to you. They should be interested in you for who you are!
6. Your impatience is showing
Even if someone doesn’t reply for a few hours or a couple of days, you’re never going to win them over with a “um hi??” or “helloooo??”. That’s not cute and no one wants that in their life. Shooting your shot again is fair if you’re really interested in someone, but be interesting and polite about it!
7. It’s them
Like we said, sometimes it’s just them, not you. Don’t let a few non-responders take you out of the game and psych you out. You never know what’s going on in someone else’s life, and there are a million reasons they may not have replied that have nothing to do with you. Keep your chin up and just remember to be respectful and avoid these red flags!